The Evangelical Dream: How a Gaslighting Empire Is Built One Coloring Page at a Time
✍️ by Pastor Matt | Church of NORMAL | Waseca MN
4.29.2025
They didn’t start with fear.
They started with felt boards.
They started with goldfish crackers and sippy cups.
They started with sweet little coloring pages that said:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
What they meant was:
Turn off your instincts. Stop asking questions. Obedience is godliness. Compliance is righteousness.
From Nursery Rhyme to Existential Collapse
They called it faith formation.
What it really was: long-term cognitive disarmament.
Before you could even spell “discernment,” they handed you the spiritual equivalent of factory training:
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Sing the song.
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Color the verse.
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Recite the line.
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Get the snack.
And if you did it right?
You got praised.
You got patted.
You got programmed.
The Loyalty Economy
This is the Evangelical Dream™:
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Obey early.
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Perform well.
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Suppress doubt.
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Pretend joy.
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Reap blessings.
Marriage? Check.
Kids? Check.
Mission trip in high school? Check.
Disaster-proof covenant? Supposedly included.
Until one day the machine fails.
The spouse walks.
The child questions.
The faith feels fake.
And the Dream™ doesn’t grieve.
It doesn’t pause.
It just recalibrates —
and blames you.
The Factory Does Not Love You
The women who handed you the memory verses as a child will now clap for your ex’s “healing journey.”
They’ll post emojis on her timeline and leave your kids asking why their daddy disappeared from the family photo albums.
They won’t say a word about the covenant they blessed being broken.
They won’t cry over the confusion they helped sew into the next generation.
They will praise the system and move on to the next coloring page class.
Because it was never about truth.
It was about preserving the image.
This Isn’t Bitterness. This Is Gospel Clarity.
This is not about hating Jesus.
It’s about confronting the cult that was built in His name.
A cult of performance.
A cult of suppression.
A cult that worships the Dream more than it ever worshipped God.
Welcome to Church of NORMAL™
Where we tear the curtain.
Where we call out the false prophets.
Where we dig through the rubble of broken marriages, broken faith, and broken children —
not to shame, but to rebuild with honesty.
They built the Empire with coloring pages.
We’re coming with sledgehammers and sacred fire.
Because some of us remember.
And we are not afraid to break the game we once loved.
You are not crazy.
The Dream never loved you back.
Let’s build something real.
#NORMAL™
