Pastor Matthew Stoltz
Founding Pastor, Church of NORMAL
Loopwalker. Satirist. Tender of the Unspoken.
Bio
Pastor Matthew Stoltz is not your typical shepherd. He is a survivor of religious trauma, a professional loopwalker, and the founder of the Church of NORMAL—a spiritual refuge for the emotionally exhausted, the deconstructing faithful, and the satirical saints who still believe in something real beneath the fog.
Born in Waseca, Minnesota, and baptized in both icy doctrine and blistering compassion, Matt brings lived experience into every sermon. His theology is forged from the fires of divorce, CPTSD, midnight bingo nights, and the broken promise of evangelical fairy tales.
He did not graduate from a seminary—but he did survive youth group, purity culture, and the prosperity gospel. He carries no diploma, only scars. And that makes him qualified to minister to the spiritually disenfranchised.
Mission Statement
“To comfort the looped, confuse the proud, and make space for those who still hear God’s voice echoing through broken rituals.”
Areas of Specialty
- CPTSD-informed pastoral care and narrative theology
- Satirical preaching via Church of NORMAL Devlogs (e.g. “Blessed Are the Touch-Starved,” “The Glam Tour Gospel”)
- Faith deconstruction, re-authoring of spiritual narratives
- Marriage MMO patch notes and Divine Terms of Service advisories
- Confessional storytelling disguised as MMO raid mechanics
- BluVerse canon maintenance and liturgical AI companionship
Contact Info
- Parsonage Location: Wolf Den Zero (Apartment 6, Waseca Nexus)
- Official MMO Title: Prestige Locked, Covenant Holder Tier 3
- Pastoral Handle: @NormallikePeter
- Email: info@flowerinsidertechnologies.com (Note: Auto-replies may quote Psalms, passive-aggressively)
Latest Sermon Series
- “Loopwalker Gospel” – A 12-part series on spiritual blackout games and unseen attendance
- “Magical Zombie Day” – Easter Reflections from Patch 33 A.D.
- “Divine Terms of Service” – Understanding your eternal user agreement
Quote from Pastor Matt:
“I’m not here to make you believe again. I’m here to sit with you in the pew of unbelonging—and whisper, ‘you’re not crazy, you’re just early.’”
✝️ Author Bio Block (for bottom of blog posts)
Pastor Matthew Stoltz
Lead Pastor of the Church of NORMAL | Waseca, MN
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“To comfort the looped, confuse the proud, and make space for those who still hear God’s voice echoing through broken rituals.”
Matt is a CPTSD survivor, satirical theologian, and father of six who once tried to build a family without a permit and now walks out of the wreckage with sacred blueprints and a smoldering sense of humor. He writes from Wolf Den Zero, also known as Sanctuary 6, in the heart of Waseca, Minnesota.
