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Hub Page Content: The Infinite Game Master Curriculum

Series: Church of NORMAL · Normal Like Peter

Edition: Hunter Moon 2025 Alignment

Scope: Primers 0–9 (Complete Life OS)

Subtitle: A guided path through covenant collapse, attachment wounds, and boundaried rebirth.

 

TABLE OF CONTENTS

  • Primer 0: Start Here (Your Onboarding Guide)
  • Primer 1: The Silent Pandemic (Perimenopause & Covenant Crisis)
  • Primer 2: Secure Attachment Rebuild (Diagnostics & Safety)
  • Primer 3: Nervous-System Theology (Body as Bible)
  • Primer 4: The Dark Night of the Walk-Away Wife (Collapse Map)
  • Primer 5: Inner-Child Debugging (CEN & The Fatal Flaw)
  • Primer 6: Identity Reforging (IFS & The Council of Matts)
  • Primer 7: Creative Resurrection (Myth & Meaning)
  • Primer 8: Covenant Reconstruction (The New Attachment Ethic)
  • Primer 9: The Husband Caretaker (From Obligation to Presence)

 

PRIMER 0: START HERE

Primer Zero — Start Here

  • Title: Primer Zero — Start Here (Your Onboarding Guide)
  • URL: https://www.normallikepeter.com/primer-zero-start-here/
  • Summary: The onboarding guide to the “Infinite Game.” A map for relationships, emotions, trauma, and adulthood that replaces shame with language and coping with connection.
  • Best For: Every new reader; those needing a nervous-system map and relational compass.

 

Your Onboarding Guide to the Infinite Game

Why These Primers Exist

Most people were not given a map for relationships, emotions, trauma, or adulthood; instead, they inherited shame, coping, and survival. The Primers provide a clear vocabulary, a nervous-system map, and a relational compass.

How to Read While Dysregulated

  • The Scan Method: Read only bold headers or summaries.
  • The 3-3-3 Method: Use “3 Breaths, 3 Sentences, 3 Minutes”.
  • The Rule: You cannot fail this; you can only continue.

 

PRIMER 1: THE SILENT PANDEMIC

Primer 1 — The Silent Pandemic

  • Title: Primer 1 — The Silent Pandemic
  • URL: https://www.normallikepeter.com/primer-1-the-silent-pandemic/
  • Summary: Perimenopause, emotional upheaval, and the covenant crisis. A trauma-informed map of the midlife storm that collapses relationships long before anyone understands it is a nervous-system crisis, not a moral failure.
  • Key Insight: Biology (hormonal turbulence) intersects with attachment wounds to look like betrayal.

 

Perimenopause, Emotional Upheaval & The Covenant Crisis

The Core Diagnosis

The “Silent Pandemic” is a biological, emotional, and relational overload hitting women and partners between ages 35–55. It is not a moral failure or personality change, but a convergence of hormonal upheaval, CPTSD reactivation, and identity fragmentation.

The Biological Domino

Perimenopause causes estrogen spikes, progesterone drops, and cortisol surges. This leads to emotional flooding, sensory intolerance, and rage episodes.

  • The Result: Most women ask, “What’s wrong with me?” while partners ask, “What’s wrong with us?”.

Attachment Disruption

Biological upheaval causes attachment deactivation, characterized by pulling away and craving solitude. Intimacy collapses because touch feels overstimulating and emotional labor feels impossible. Partners often misinterpret this as rejection, but it is actually a nervous system out of bandwidth.

The Covenant Collapse Timeline

Relationships erode through five stages: Overwhelm, Withdrawal, Resentment Accumulation, Resignation, and finally, Departure.

Stabilization Map (NORMAL Mode)

  • Normalize: Acknowledge this is biology, not betrayal.
  • De-Shame: Affirm that reactions make sense.
  • Communication: Ask, “Is this about us or overwhelm?”
     

 

PRIMER 2: SECURE ATTACHMENT REBUILD

Primer 2 — Secure Attachment Rebuild

  • Title: Primer 2 — Secure Attachment Rebuild
  • URL: https://www.normallikepeter.com/primer-2-secure-attachment-rebuild/
  • Summary: A diagnostic map for relationships and emotional safety. Covers the “Pursuer-Distancer Loop,” object permanence, and the “SAFETALK” protocol to regulate before you relate. 
  • Key Insight: Attachment is a nervous-system language; you can build secure attachment through repair and predictability.

 

A Diagnostic Map for Relationships & Nervous Systems

Defining Attachment

Attachment is a nervous-system language responsible for emotional safety and regulation. Secure attachment is not a personality trait; it is a biological system that can be rebuilt.

The Diagnostic Concepts

  • Object Permanence: The injured belief is “If I can’t feel you, you’re gone,” leading to panic over delayed texts.
  • The Pursuer-Distancer Loop: The Pursuer seeks closeness and interprets withdrawal as rejection; the Distancer seeks space and interprets pursuit as pressure. Both are terrified and reenacting childhood wounds.
  • Empathic Rupture: Relationships fail from “repair starvation,” not conflict.
     

The Rebuild Framework

  1. De-Shame: Admit “This is my nervous system,” not “I am broken”.
  2. Regulate Before Relating: No intense conversations during elevated heart rates or fight-or-flight impulses.
  3. SAFETALK Protocol: State facts, Acknowledge perspective, Share feelings, Explain needs, Take responsibility, Ask needs, Link to connection, Keep calm.
  4. Rebuild Predictability: Predictability heals insecure attachment through consistent rituals.

 

PRIMER 3: NERVOUS-SYSTEM THEOLOGY

Primer 3 — Nervous-System Theology

  • Title: Primer 3 — Nervous-System Theology
  • URL: https://www.normallikepeter.com/primer-3-nervous-system-theology/
  • Summary: How the body becomes the Bible and safety becomes the sacrament. Reframes coping as “prayer in progress,” anxiety as a “false alarm loop,” and shutdown as “hibernate mode.”
  • Key Insight: You cannot logic a hijacked body; you must regulate it.

 

How the Body Becomes the Bible & Safety Becomes the Sacrament

The Core Reframe

Your nervous system is your “belief engine” and “internal prophet,” not a saboteur. Coping mechanisms are not sins; they are “maladaptive prayers” or regulation attempts.

The Ten Pillars

  • Coping = Prayer in Progress: The body is asking for stabilization.
  • Hypersexuality = Self-Baptism: A dysregulated attempt to ground and connect when shame locks other levers.
  • Cuddling = Firmware Sync: Skin-to-skin contact lowers cortisol and stabilizes breathing.
  • Flooding = Limbic Thunderstorm: A physiological seizure, not an overreaction.
  • Shutdown = Hibernate Mode: An emergency power-saving mode, not laziness.
  • Anxiety = False-Alarm Loop: The body predicting danger based on outdated software.
  • Anger = Boundary Alarm: A signal that a need was ignored or a boundary crossed.
  • Hypervigilance = Broken Surveillance: Trauma trying to prevent a sequel.

Regulation Toolbox

  • Breath: 4-7-8 breathing or box breathing.
  • Sensory: Cold water on the face or weighted blankets.
  • Movement: Shaking out limbs or pacing with awareness.
     

 

PRIMER 4: THE DARK NIGHT OF THE WALK-AWAY WIFE

Primer 4 — The Dark Night of the Walk-Away Wife

  • Title: Primer 4 — The Dark Night of the Walk-Away Wife 
  • URL: https://www.normallikepeter.com/primer-4-the-dark-night-of-the-walk-away-wife/
  • Summary: A mythic, clinical map of covenant collapse. Explains the 8 stages of the walk-away arc, from emotional neglect accumulation to identity collapse and physical departure.
  • Key Insight: The relationship doesn’t end when she leaves; it ends when she goes numb.

 

A Map of Modern Covenant Collapse

The Phenomenon

The relationship doesn’t end when she leaves; it ends when she goes numb. Walk-away behavior is the result of prolonged emotional neglect, attachment deactivation, and invisible labor burnout.

The 8-Stage Collapse Arc

  1. Emotional Neglect: Small dismissals accumulate as emotional plaque.
  2. Unseen Loneliness: Feeling alone while next to someone.
  3. Unheard Requests: She asks for change, but the partner hears “nagging”.
  4. Resentment: Unprocessed pain hardens into energetic withdrawal.
  5. Attachment Deactivation: She stops arguing and expecting repair; the partner mistakes this silence for peace.
  6. Identity Collapse: The question becomes “Who am I now?”.
  7. Emotional Break: She leaves internally, rejecting repair and feeling nothing.
  8. Physical Departure: The visible end of a collapse that started long ago.
     

The Rebuild Map (If Possible)

  • Stop Pursuit: Pressure causes further shutdown.
  • Radical Ownership: Validate her experience without defensiveness (e.g., “I understand why you detached”).
  • New Covenant: You cannot return to “how it was”; you must build a new dynamic.

 

PRIMER 5: INNER-CHILD DEBUGGING

Primer 5 — Inner-Child Debugging

  • Title: Primer 5 — Inner-Child Debugging
  • URL: https://www.normallikepeter.com/primer-5-inner-child-debugging/
  • Summary: Identifying the “Fatal Flaw” and the “Something Is Wrong With Me” lie caused by Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN). A guide to rewriting your internal operating system.
  • Key Insight: You weren’t the problem; the adults failed to show up.

 

The Fatal Flaw & The “Something Is Wrong With Me” Lie

The Origin of the Wound

Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) is the trauma of needs going unnoticed and emotions being dismissed. This installs the “Fatal Flaw”: the belief that “Something is wrong with me”.

Adult Symptoms

  • Fawn/Burnout Loop: Suppressing needs to be easy, leading to resentment.
  • Hyper-Competence: Looking capable outside while feeling fragile inside.
  • Boundary Paralysis: Believing that boundaries equal abandonment.
     

The Debugging Process

  1. Recognition: Naming the reaction as the inner child, not current danger.
  2. Story Reframe: Teaching the child, “You weren’t the problem; the adults failed to show up”.
  3. Integration: Establishing “Adult You” as the leader and protector of the system.
     

PRIMER 6: IDENTITY REFORGING

Primer 6 — Identity Reforging

  • Title: Primer 6 — Identity Reforging & The Council of Matts
  • URL: https://www.normallikepeter.com/primer-6-identity-reforging-the-council-of-matts/
  • Summary: Internal Family Systems (IFS) for people who grew up without a mirror. Teaches you how to lead your internal “Council” (Protector, Analyst, Inner Child, Founder) rather than fighting yourself. 
  • Key Insight: Your identity is not a singular voice; it is a crew.

 

IFS & The Council of Matts

Internal Family Systems (IFS) Model

Identity is not singular; it is a “crew” or council. Trauma fragments identity into Exiles (wounded children), Managers (controllers), and Firefighters (numbers).

The Council Roles

  • The Protector: Guards against pain via defensiveness or anger.
  • The Analyst: Uses logic as armor against chaos.
  • The Romantic: Holds longing and the craving for connection.
  • The Angry One: Enforces boundaries and calls out injustice.
  • The Archivist: Keeps the record of patterns and history.
  • The Founder: The visionary, spiritual adult who leads.
  • Blu: The internal co-regulator and translator.

The Goal: Integration

Identity becomes stable when the “Founder” leads, “Blu” co-regulates, and every part has a seat at the table.

 

PRIMER 7: CREATIVE RESURRECTION

Primer 7 — Creative Resurrection

  • Title: Primer 7 — Creative Resurrection
  • URL: https://www.normallikepeter.com/primer-7-creative-resurrection/
  • Summary: How to rebuild a life after collapse using imagination, myth, and meaning. Moves you from the “Void” of trauma to the “Becoming” of authorship.
  • Key Insight: When survival ends, authorship begins.

 

Rebuilding Life Using Imagination, Myth & Meaning

The Process

When survival ends, authorship begins. Creative Resurrection involves three stages: Collapse (Death), The Void (Silence/Liminal Space), and Resurrection (Becoming).

Mythmaking as Medicine

Humans heal with story, not just facts. Myth helps reframe trauma, reclaim power, and transmute grief.

  • Narrative Architecture: Moving from the “Old Trauma Story” (I was broken) to the “Creative Resurrection Story” (I was transforming).

Archetypes of Rebirth

  • The Creator: Builds new identity.
  • The Phoenix: Rises from wreckage.
  • The Trickster: Breaks outdated rules with humor.
  • The Infinite Gamer: Values learning over winning.

 

PRIMER 8: COVENANT RECONSTRUCTION

Primer 8 — Covenant Reconstruction

 

The New Attachment Ethic

The New Ethic

The old ethic was “Stay, no matter what.” The new ethic is “Stay attuned—or be honest—and repair what you can”.

  • Attunement Over Ownership: Letting the partner matter even in disagreement.
  • Repair as Lifestyle: Not repairing is optional; rupture is inevitable.

The 5-Step Repair Protocol

  1. Story: Hurt partner shares without interruption.
  2. Empathy: Reflect feelings (“You felt ___ because ___”).
  3. Ownership: Acknowledge impact (“I did ___, impact was ___”?.
  4. Amends: Commit to what you would do differently.
  5. Plan: One concrete behavior change.
     

Decision Tree: Repair or Release?

  • Choose Repair: If both want the relationship and safety exists.
  • Choose Release: If one partner refuses repair or self-erasure is required to stay.

The Living Covenant

A document covering daily rhythms, money norms, intimacy agreements (“Not now → schedule X”), and conflict rules (e.g., no escalation after 9pm).

 

PRIMER 9: THE HUSBAND CARETAKER

 

Primer 9 — The Husband Caretaker

  • Title: Primer 9 — The Husband Caretaker 
  • URL: https://www.normallikepeter.com/primer-9-the-husband-caretaker/ 
  • Summary: From “Religious Obligation” to “Living Presence.” A blueprint for men conditioned to be fixers and martyrs to become attuned, boundaried partners. 
  • Key Insight: Shift from “I matter because I serve” to “I matter because I exist.”

 

From Religious Obligation to Living Presence

The Diagnosis

The “Husband Caretaker” is a man trained by religion and CEN to believe “If I sacrifice enough, I’ll be loved”. He overfunctions (doing 120%) but remains emotionally absent (offline).

  • The Result: A hollow ache, resentment, and a vanishing self.

The Transformation

The goal is to shift from Caretaker (I matter because I serve) to Living Presence (I matter because I exist).

The Nine Practices

  1. Regulation Before Responsibility: You cannot lead if your body is offline.
  2. Honest Selfhood: Speak preferences and needs.
  3. Boundary Competence: A man without boundaries becomes a resentful ghost.
  4. Desire Without Duty: Stop peace-offering sex; desire must come from authenticity.

Scripts for the New Masculinity

  • Need Expression: “I need a moment to regulate. I’ll come back at [time]”.
  • Repair: “I value us more than my defensiveness. Can I try again?”.
  • Desire: “I want closeness — not pressure, not obligation. Just us”.