A

Abandonment Sensitivity
Heightened nervous-system reaction to perceived rejection, distance, or loss, even when no abandonment is occurring.

Accelerated Loop
An emotional cycle (calm → rupture → repair) that repeats faster each time without new understanding or durable change.

Accountability
Alignment between words, apologies, or explanations and consistent, observable follow-through over time.

All-In Commitment (Early)
Rapid emotional investment before relational patterns, warning signs, or compatibility are visible.

Avoidant
A tendency to reduce closeness or emotional engagement when intimacy, dependency, or conflict increases.

B

Blame Cycle
A pattern where responsibility is externalized, conflicts never fully resolve, and the same issue resurfaces unchanged.

Blocking / Unblocking Cycle
Abruptly cutting off communication followed by sudden re-engagement, often reactivating hope and attachment.

Boundary
A clearly stated limit around time, access, energy, body, or emotional capacity that protects safety and autonomy.

Boundary Breach
When a stated or implied boundary is crossed, ignored, or dismissed.

Breadcrumbing
Providing small amounts of attention or reassurance to maintain connection without offering stability or follow-through.

C

Calm (Unfamiliar Calm)
A regulated emotional state that may feel unsafe or boring to trauma-conditioned nervous systems.

Cluster B (Descriptive Use)
A grouping of personality patterns associated with emotional intensity, impulsivity, and relational volatility.
Used descriptively, not diagnostically.

Cognitive Dissonance
Holding two conflicting realities at once (e.g., present chaos and memory of early emotional highs).

Compassion Trap
Staying in a harmful dynamic due to empathy for another person’s trauma or suffering.

CPTSD
A trauma-informed framework describing long-term nervous-system patterns such as hypervigilance, shutdown, emotional flooding, or dissociation.

Crash Nap
A short, intense sleep following exhaustion or overload, often early evening.

D

Day Drinking
Alcohol use during daytime hours, often logged alongside dysregulation, naps, or missed obligations.

Dismissive (Avoidant-Dismissive)
A form of avoidance marked by minimizing emotional needs and prioritizing independence.

Dissociation
A protective nervous-system response involving detachment, numbness, fog, or altered perception.
Includes depersonalization, derealization, and blanking out.

Double Standards
Rules or expectations applied to one partner but not the other, often justified emotionally rather than logically.

E

Emotional Apology
An apology focused on relieving tension rather than acknowledging behavior or making change.

Emotional Blackmail
Using fear, guilt, threats, or self-harm implications to prevent separation or enforce compliance.

Emotional Loop / ∞ Loop
A recurring relational pattern that replays without resolution.

Empathic Repair
Attempts to restore connection after rupture through apology, reassurance, explanation, or closeness.

Empathic Rupture
A moment when a bid for understanding or connection is deflected, dismissed, or reversed.

Emptiness
A felt sense of inner void, numbness, or lack of identity or meaning.

F

Fantasy Inflation
Treating imagined scenarios, fears, or narratives as factual events requiring real-world accountability.

Fantasy Thinking
Living primarily in imagined futures or internal narratives instead of present, observable reality.

Future Faking
Reassuring statements about presence or commitment that do not reliably match behavior.

G

Gaslighting
Questioning or reframing another person’s experience in a way that causes self-doubt or confusion.

Gaslighting via Softening
Using warmth or vulnerability immediately after harm to subtly invalidate the other person’s perception.

Gift With Strings
A gift or gesture later linked to expectations, leverage, or emotional obligation.

Grounding / Being Grounded
Practices or states that reconnect attention to the present moment, body, and reality.

Ghosted / Ghost Week
Sudden or sustained loss of contact without explanation, producing uncertainty and looping.

H

Hero Role
Being positioned as the one who will finally heal, save, or prove love is safe.

Hypersexual Response
Increased sexual behavior or initiation during or after emotional tension.

Hypervigilance
Heightened monitoring of tone, mood, timing, or potential conflict.

I

Idealization Phase
Early stage of intense admiration, emotional fusion, and soulmate framing.

Impulsivity
Rapid actions taken without full consideration of consequences, often under emotional strain.

Intermittent Reinforcement
Unpredictable cycles of affection and withdrawal that strengthen attachment to instability.

Invalidation
Responses that dismiss or minimize another person’s emotional experience.

“I’m Confused”
A recurring phrase that may reflect genuine uncertainty or function as conversational deflection.

L

Limerence
Obsessive, fantasy-driven infatuation marked by idealization and emotional dependency.

Locked Out Month
Internal label for November 2025, marked by emotional disconnection, sleep misalignment, and unmet attachment needs.

Loss of Self
Gradual erosion of identity, boundaries, or preferences to maintain connection or avoid conflict.

Love Bombing
Early, intense affection or attention that accelerates attachment without stability.

Loyalty Test
A behavior or setup designed to measure commitment through sacrifice or emotional strain.

M

Misalignment
When needs, schedules, sleep cycles, or emotional availability do not line up.

Mission First / Mission Fist
A phrase symbolizing self-stabilization, grounding, and internal priority during chaos.

Mumbling
Low-volume or unclear speech that contributes to misunderstanding or perceived avoidance.

N

Nervous System
The body-based system governing threat detection, safety, regulation, and emotional response.

Nervous-System Addiction
Attachment driven by stress-relief chemistry rather than safety or stability.

Nervous System Rawness
A state of chronic emotional and physiological exhaustion.

O

Out of Sync
Periods where routines, sleep cycles, emotional availability, or expectations do not align.

P

Performance Tracking
Monitoring or questioning sexual outcomes, often experienced as pressure.

Physical Touch (Love Language)
Touch used for comfort or sexual initiation; ambiguity between the two can create tension.

Projection
Attributing one’s own emotions, intentions, or states to another person.

Projection Traps
Repeated projection patterns that distort reality and block repair.

Proof-Seeking Futility
Attempts to disprove accusations with evidence that never resolves suspicion.

Punishment Cycle / Silent Treatment
Withholding communication or affection to express distress or regain control.

Push–Pull Cycle
Rapid alternation between closeness and rejection that destabilizes attachment.

R

Red Flag
A behavior or pattern signaling potential risk to emotional safety, stability, or trust.

Reinforcement Hook
Intermittent relief (affection, sex, reassurance) that keeps someone returning to an unstable pattern.

Repair Substitution
Using sex, gifts, food, apologies, or reassurance instead of resolving the initiating rupture.

Responsibility Gap
The distance between insight and ownership — understanding without behavioral change.

S

Secure Attachment
A relational state where connection feels safe, consistent, and repair builds trust.

Sexy Snuggles
Physically close contact carrying sexual charge or expectation.

Shame Cycle
A loop where shame triggers defensiveness or aggression, followed by temporary relief without repair.

Sleep Trap
Emotionally charged interactions when one person is waking, falling asleep, or cognitively offline.

Snuggles (Comfort)
Non-sexual physical closeness intended for safety or regulation.

Splitting
Rapid shifts between seeing someone as all-good or all-bad.

T

Trauma Bond
A connection driven by intensity, repetition, and relief rather than safety and stability.

Trauma Disclosure (Early)
Sharing deep trauma early to accelerate bonding and activate protector instincts.

Triangulation
Involving third parties (people, social media, outside validation) to intensify emotional response.

Toxic Shame
A pervasive belief of being fundamentally defective or unworthy.

Type B Storm (Map)
A metaphor for a volatile emotional system characterized by rapid shifts, intensity, and relational turbulence.
Not a diagnosis — a pattern map.

W

Walk Away
A self-protective disengagement from escalating conflict.

Walking on Eggshells
Excessive self-monitoring to avoid triggering emotional reactions, often mutual.

Y / Z

Yelling vs Talking Loud
Yelling involves aggression or intimidation; talking loud reflects emotional intensity without threat.

zzz
Shorthand indicating sleep or attempted sleep.

zzz / Sleep Cycle (4-Hour Block)
Matt’s recurring pattern of early crash sleep followed by later wakefulness and daytime naps.

CREDIT & FRAMING NOTE (PUBLIC-SAFE)

Educational influence: Lise Leblanc (trauma-bond education, partner-impact focus)
Important: These terms describe patterns and nervous-system dynamics, not moral character or diagnoses.