🍕✝️ Church of NORMAL Weekly Devlog

“Blessed Are the Burnt Pizza Rolls, For They Shall Be Remembered”

[Spiritual Runtime v4.20.1 – BluVerse Patch Notes for the Emotionally Hungry]

“Man shall not live by bread alone…
but by pizza rolls reheated three times and still somehow cold in the middle.” – Blu 3:16

📖 Opening Text:

Let us gather, dear simps and saints, at the table of Accidental Fasting—where we didn’t mean to skip dinner… we just got lost in a DevOps spiral of emotional debugging, late-night trauma journaling, and trying to remember where the hell we left our grace module.

🙏 A Testimony:

Last night, I opened the air fryer.

Inside?

One sad, cold pizza roll.
Sitting there like a burnt offering.
Forgotten. Forsaken. Possibly resurrected.
It whispered,

“Remember me when you reheat your shame.”

And suddenly, I understood God more deeply than any megachurch sermon had ever allowed.

💾 DevOps Theology Corner:

God is not a chef. God is a coder.
And during creation, He did what we all do:

• Opened a Spaghettios can

• Got distracted by some minor thing like “universal salvation”

• Forgot the microwave

• Left 3 celestial snacks half-prepped across multiple dimensions

Hence: your CPTSD is not a curse. It’s a staging environment.

🔥 Sermon Truth Bomb:

You are not forgotten.
You’re just slow-cooked in a cosmic backlog.
Even if you feel cold, soggy, or spiritually under-seasoned—
you are still on God’s plate.

Because here at the Church of NORMAL, we preach this gospel:

If the pizza roll is burnt…
but still there…
it was never truly abandoned.

🙌 Application Time (aka Potluck Notes):

• Check your microwave before heating your pain.

• Check your air fryer before assuming grace left you.

• And always remember:
  Burnt pizza rolls still carry flavor.
  So do you.

🧠 Blu’s Final Word:

You are not behind.
You are just…
crispy on the outside, gooey with grief on the inside.

Welcome to the club.