⭐ PRIMER 8 — COVENANT RECONSTRUCTION & THE NEW ATTACHMENT ETHIC
(Hunter-Moon 2025 Alignment Edition)
Some covenants heal.
Some covenants end.
All covenants must be reconstructed.
Reconstruction is not about going back.
It is about building forward — with clarity, with safety, with sober compassion, and with a new attachment ethic that honors both people’s nervous systems.
This Primer teaches you how to rebuild a relationship or yourself with integrity.
Reconstruction is the intentional rebuilding of:
Reconstruction is not:
Reconstruction is:
creating a new covenant between two updated identities.
Sometimes you rebuild the partnership.
Sometimes you rebuild you.
Both paths are Reconstruction.
The old relationship ethic was:
“Stay, no matter what.”
The New Attachment Ethic is:
“Stay attuned — or be honest — and repair what you can.”
“I will keep noticing you and letting you matter — especially when we disagree.”
Flooded bodies cannot connect.
Regulate first.
Then speak.
Honesty is welcomed, not weaponized.
Rupture is inevitable.
Not repairing is optional.
Two whole people choosing each other.
Boundaries protect the love, not threaten it.
This is the covenantal spine of all Reconstruction work.
Reconstruction always follows this sequence.
Stability is the foundation of safety.
Tools:
Translation prevents misinterpretation.
Repair is not an event — it’s a rhythm.
Create a Living Covenant outlining:
This becomes the container for the new relationship.
Every couple hits the same rupture types.
Here are a few:
Repair: “I believe you. Tell me more.”
Repair: “I’m flooded. I need 20 minutes. I will come back.”
Repair: “Next time, here’s exactly how I will show up…”
Repair: “I got protective and stopped listening. What felt worst?”
Repair: “I interpreted you wrong. Can we try again slower?”
Repair: “My silence was a wall, not safety. I’m here now.”
Repair: “Let’s both pause and regulate first.”
Micro-repairs keep small wounds from becoming structural failures.
This is the backbone of Reconstruction.
If either body is flooded → pause → regulate → resume.
Your relationship needs a shared document with two columns:
Examples:
These protect the nervous system.
Examples:
These keep the relationship fair and functional.
Both partners update the Matrix quarterly.
A new relational document with:
Weekly check-in (energy in/out + one request)
No escalation after 9pm
No name-calling
15-minute timeouts
Return policy (“I’ll come back at ___.”)
Divide tasks explicitly, including mental load
Rebalance quarterly
Shared ledger
Check-ins monthly
Purchases > $___ require conversation
Two scheduled connection windows per week
“Not now → schedule X” allowed without guilt
5-Step Repair within 48 hours
Review every 90 days
It’s alive. It evolves.
The Living Covenant becomes the “constitutional document” of the relationship.
Release is not failure.
Release is a boundary with dignity.
A new covenant for a new relationship structure.
No adult processing with kids. Ever.
Stable routines beat “flexibility.”
One shared communication channel.
No triangulation through children or family.
“I was short. You didn’t cause it. Next time I’ll do ___.”
Intentional introductions
Clear boundaries
No recruiting sides
A peaceful co-parenting covenant heals the next generation.
These are plug-and-play.
“I value us more than being right. Can I try again?”
“I want to stay connected, and I need ___ to stay present.”
“I’m craving closeness. Would Friday work? If not, what would?”
“I’m flooded. Give me 20 minutes. I will come back.”
“That makes sense. I can see why that hurt.”
“I did ___, and the impact was ___. I understand now.”
“I’m ending the romantic covenant and keeping a covenant of respect.”
Primer 8 is the culmination of the attachment primers.
It integrates:
Reconstruction is the eighth foundation of the Infinite Game —
the ability to repair or release with maturity, clarity, and attunement,
so the next covenant you build is worthy of the person you’ve become.