Church of NORMAL · Primers Hub

Primers Hub · Covenant, Collapse & Reconstruction

A guided path through covenant collapse, attachment wounds, and boundaried rebirth. Primer Zero anchors the story (Silent Pandemic), Primers 1–3 build the covenant engine, and Primers 4–7 deepen the work (dark night, future-faking, trauma-bonding, and the husband caretaker lens).

Hunter Moon 2025 Edition
Primers 0–7 live
Rebuild horizon: more in 2026+
Tip: use search + topic filter together to drill down (e.g. “future-faking” + topic “Attachment”).

Where do I start?

Suggested reading paths

Path A · Shocked spouse (she walked away)

  • Primer 1 — Walk-Away Wife, Perimenopause, Covenant Betrayal Trauma.
  • Primer 2 — CEN, covert contracts, empathic ruptures.
  • Primer 3 — Reconstruction map + Living Covenant.
  • Primer 6 — Trauma bonding & empathic wounds.
  • Primer 7 — Husband Caretaker lens (for men in collapse).

Path B · Walk-away partner (or in the Dark Night)

  • Primer 4 — Dark Night of the Walk-Away Wife (deconstruction as holy).
  • Primer 5 — Future-Faking and Presence Contracts.
  • Primer 3 — New attachment ethic: rebuild or release with integrity.

Path C · Pastors / helpers / curious nerds

  • Primer 0 — Start Here (Silent Pandemic anchor essay).
  • Primer 1 — Walk-Away Wife map.
  • Primer 2 — Architecture of CEN & Nice Guy dynamics.
  • Primer 3 — Covenant templates, repair practices, scripts.

All paths are suggestions, not rules. Start where your nervous system can tolerate the truth.

References & further reading

Key works and articles that informed Primers 1–2 (CEN, Nice Guy, empathic rupture, CPTSD). These are for deeper study, not required reading.

Childhood Emotional Neglect / CEN
  • Webb, J. (2012). Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect. — overview of how “what didn’t happen” shapes adult emptiness.
  • Leona Westra Counselling. “What Is Emotional Neglect?” — concise clinical framing of CEN patterns.
  • PositivePsychology.com. “Childhood Emotional Neglect: 5 Hidden Consequences.” — digestible summary of long-term impacts.
Nice Guy Syndrome / people-pleasing loops
  • Glover, R. (2003). No More Mr. Nice Guy. — classic model of covert contracts and performative “goodness.”
  • The Dad Edge Podcast. “Stop Being the ‘Nice Guy’ with Dr. Robert Glover.” — conversational entry point to the same framework.
Empathic ruptures, anger, and repair
  • Whiten, S. R. “Empathic Ruptures: When You Can’t Forgive Your Partner for Not Being There for You.” — origin of the “empathic rupture” language you’ll see in Primers 2–3.
  • Couples Therapy Inc. “My Wife Is Always Angry: The Hidden Science of Female Anger.” — context for female anger within attachment and hormonal stress.
CPTSD, nervous systems, and trauma repair
  • van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score. — foundational work on how trauma lives in the body.
  • Levine, P. (1997). Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma. — somatic lens on fight/flight/freeze patterns.
  • Walker, P. (2013). Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. — practical CPTSD roadmap (especially for fawn/freeze types).

Use these as optional deep dives. The Primers are designed to stand on their own if your capacity is limited.