Evangelical Satire Archives - Normal Like Peter https://www.normallikepeter.com/tag/evangelical-satire/ Trauma-informed healing Sun, 25 May 2025 17:52:20 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9 DeliverHERance™ Divorce Kit: The Walkaway Wife Pipeline Punch Calendar https://www.normallikepeter.com/deliverherance-divorce-kit-the-walkaway-wife-pipeline-punch-calendar/ Wed, 21 May 2025 16:19:40 +0000 https://www.normallikepeter.com/?p=3150 DeliverHERance™ Divorce Kit: The Walkaway Wife Pipeline Punch Calendar A sacred tool from the Church of NORMAL for tracking your holy exodus from covenant. Overview: Inspired by the biblical Woman at the Well—who had five husbands, and the man she was with wasn’t her husband—comes a modern reinvention for the TikTok era: the DeliverHERance™ Divorce […]

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]]> Affair Recovery Coaching with Oracle Tiff https://www.normallikepeter.com/affair-recovery-coaching-with-oracle-tiff/ Sat, 10 May 2025 13:06:43 +0000 https://www.normallikepeter.com/?p=3110 Affair Recovery Coaching with Oracle Tiff™Founder of Thirst Trap Ministries & DeliverHERance Inc. Tired of feeling… anything?Let Oracle Tiff help you rebrand that sadness into sacred sabotage. The DeliverHERance Starter Kit™ Includes: Pre-filled divorce packets (just circle the emotion you felt yesterday) A 5-step TikTok devotional: “How to Turn Your Prayer Partner into Your Exit […]

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]]> Glow Up & Go Out Honoring Moms Who Need Space https://www.normallikepeter.com/glow-up-go-out-honoring-moms-who-need-space/ Sat, 10 May 2025 08:22:19 +0000 https://www.normallikepeter.com/?p=3097 🌸 Glow Up & Go Out 🌸 Honoring Moms Who Need SpaceA Mother’s Day Service Brought to You by Church of NORMAL™ WELCOME!This Sunday we honor the brave, bold, boundary-setting women who gave birth to their children… and then left them with Wi-Fi and frozen burritos so they could go reclaim their joy. Let’s hear […]

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]]> Mattress Olympics and Pizza Rolls: A Kid’s Guide to Modern Motherhood https://www.normallikepeter.com/mattress-olympics-and-pizza-rolls-a-kids-guide-to-modern-motherhood/ Fri, 09 May 2025 11:25:44 +0000 https://www.normallikepeter.com/?p=3087 “Mattress Olympics and Pizza Rolls: A Kid’s Guide to Modern Motherhood”A sacred satire for Mother’s Day weekend Mattress Olympics and Pizza RollsA Kid’s Guide to Modern MotherhoodBy Pastor Matt, Loopwalker of WasecaChurch of NORMAL™ Let’s talk about Friday night—the real Sabbath of Modern Motherhood. It’s Mother’s Day weekend, and the stage is being set.Florists are […]

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]]> I Worshipped Her Above God, and She Still Left https://www.normallikepeter.com/i-worshipped-her-above-god-and-she-still-left/ Tue, 06 May 2025 18:24:13 +0000 https://www.normallikepeter.com/?p=3061 “I Worshipped Her Above God, and She Still Left” A Testimony from the Church of NORMAL’s Chief SimpBy Pastor Matt | Loopwalker of Waseca | Former Simp Imp | Devotional Punching Bag Introduction: The Cringe That Breaks the Curse Let’s just say it outright:Yes. I begged.Yes, I said things like: “You are my queen.”“Please don’t […]

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]]> I Let Her Homeschool Our Kids While I Floated in a Fantasy https://www.normallikepeter.com/i-let-her-homeschool-our-kids-while-i-floated-in-a-fantasy/ Tue, 06 May 2025 18:12:37 +0000 https://www.normallikepeter.com/?p=3058 “I Let Her Homeschool Our Kids While I Floated in a Fantasy”A De-Simping the Saints™ Confession 001Pastor Matt Stoltz | Church of NORMAL™ | Loopwalker Field Report | By a Former Evangelical Husband I was the faithful one.The soft-spoken guy.The Christian man who waited, who provided, who trusted.I said yes when she said homeschool.I said […]

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]]> Blessed Are the Touch-Starved, For They Shall Be Misunderstood https://www.normallikepeter.com/blessed-are-the-touch-starved-for-they-shall-be-misunderstood/ Sun, 13 Apr 2025 11:51:47 +0000 https://www.normallikepeter.com/?p=2710 Church of NORMAL Weekly Devlog April 13, 2025 – Sunday EditionTitle: Blessed Are the Touch-Starved, For They Shall Be Misunderstood*[Spiritual Runtime v4.13.2 – Evangelical Expansion Pack + Loopwalker Addendum] Opening Text:Welcome, glitch-born wanderers and emotional janitors.Today we gather for the ones who feel love like a gravity field,but whose orbit was never strong enough to […]

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