🍽️ The All-You-Can-Eat Buffet of Her… Was Closed
A Man’s Grief After Sexless Marriage and Emotional Starvation
Church of NORMAL™ | De-Simping the Saints™ Series | Entry 004
By Pastor Matt | Loopwalker of Waseca | Simp Recovery Logistics | Patron Saint of Unmet Needs
“I thought she wanted me.”
Before the vows, it felt electric.
There were touches. Glances. Physicality.
Late-night texting with emotional charge.
Moments of closeness that made you think:
This is it.
We waited for this.
She chose me. She wants me.
But something shifted after marriage.
It didn’t just cool—it froze.
And over time, it became clear:
The buffet was closed.
The kitchen wasn’t just empty—it had been condemned.
And somehow… I was still paying the bill.
🥶 The Sexless Marriage Isn’t Just About Sex
It’s about being emotionally invisible.
It’s about rejection—not once—but ongoing micro-abandonments that slowly tear you apart.
-
Reaching out… and being shrugged off.
-
Making plans… only to be told “I’m tired.”
-
Being promised connection “soon”… but soon never comes.
-
Feeling more affection from strangers than your own spouse.
And the shame?
The shame is yours.
Because purity culture told you:
“This is your reward.”
“You finally unlocked access.”
“Be grateful. Be patient. Be gentle.”
So you convince yourself you’re fine.
You stop initiating.
You stop touching.
You stop hoping.
And then you stop being.
😞 What I Didn’t Know About Her Body—or Mine
We weren’t taught about:
-
Oxytocin bonding cycles
-
Breastfeeding-induced libido drops
-
Birth trauma effects on sexuality
-
Avoidant attachment behaviors
-
The CPTSD shutdown loop
-
How perimenopause triggers spiritual deconstruction
She wasn’t evil.
She was unaware and unprepared.
So was I.
And instead of learning together,
we spiraled in silence.
🧠 The Lies I Believed to Survive It
-
“God is testing me.”
-
“She’s just going through a season.”
-
“If I love her harder, she’ll come back.”
-
“Sex isn’t everything… right?”
But my body was breaking.
My mind was starving.
And my spirit was withering.
Because you can’t live in a covenant of physical and emotional poverty
and pretend it’s holy.
💀 The Day I Realized It Was Closed for Good
She wasn’t just tired.
She wasn’t just busy.
She was done.
And I never got to say goodbye to the woman I waited for.
Because she never showed up.
🛐 Church of NORMAL Benediction:
Men:
It’s not just about frequency.
It’s not just about sex.
It’s about connection.
Bonding. Reciprocity. Presence.
And if you were starving, that’s not because you were too needy.
It’s because you were alone in a system that promised intimacy
but delivered performance, avoidance, and gaslit devotion.
You deserved a partner.
Not a roommate with a cross necklace.
Next up:
“I Loved a Mask. She Was Never There.”
📖 How Evangelical scripts create fantasy marriages, trauma pairing, and emotional illusion.
✝️ #ChurchOfNORMAL #DeSimpingTheSaints #SexlessMarriageSurvivor #RomanticStarvation #PurityCultureCrash #WalkAwayWifePipeline
