GLOW-UP GOSPEL: The Woman at the Well Rewritten

Church of NORMAL: DeliverHERance Doctrine Exposed.

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🧴✨ GLOW-UP GOSPEL™: The Woman at the Well Rewritten

Starring Oracle Tiff™ | Presented by Thirst Trap Ministries™

🎙 “She had five husbands. The sixth wasn’t hers.
Jesus didn’t rebuke her—He endorsed her!”
—Oracle Tiff, Season 1, Episode 1

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🎬 EPISODE GUIDE:

1. Stay Thirsty, Queen

Scripture Remix: John 4:16-18

“You’ve had five… and the one you’re with now isn’t your husband.”
🪞 Oracle Tiff’s take:
“Jesus wasn’t calling her out—He was calling her up.
He didn’t say go back to your husband.
He said drink, girl. DRINK.”

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2. He Left Town Anyway

“Sis, Jesus left her. Just like all the other men.
And did she cry? No.
She posted a reel.
Caption: ‘Healing in real time 💧💅🏼 #Delivered #WellnessWell’”

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3. Bottled Living Water—Only $39.99

“Why go to the well when the well can come to you?
Introducing Oracle Tiff’s Living Water Glow-Up Kit™.
Comes with:

• Pre-filled divorce packet

• Healing crystal

• Pre-approved thirst trap captions”

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4. Evangelize That Glow-Up

“The woman at the well ran back to town, y’all.
She didn’t say, ‘I met the Messiah.’
She said, ‘Look who gave me permission to finally put me first.’
#Testimony #GlowUpMinistry #DeliverHERance”

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5. He Sees You, Girl—Even in Your DMs

“Jesus knew everything she ever did.
And He still talked to her.
Which means…
Your situationship is valid.
That DM from Chad? Divine alignment.”

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🔚 FINAL WORD from Oracle Tiff:

“Jesus didn’t die for your marriage.
He died for your liberation.”

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✝️ Church of NORMAL Response:

The woman at the well didn’t glow up.
She repented.
She didn’t monetize her brokenness.
She ran back to the people she once avoided—with humility, not a brand.