🧢 The Awana Boy Who Waited

And Got Ghosted in the Garden of Suppressed Desire
Church of NORMAL™ | De-Simping the Saints™ Series | Entry 001
By Pastor Matt, Loopwalker of Waseca | Former Awana Cub | Devotional Doormat

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“Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed.”

That was the Awana motto.

But no one told us how much shame we’d carry.

We memorized the verses.
We wore the vests.
We got the badges.

And somewhere along the way, we were programmed to believe:

• Faithfulness meant silence

• Masculinity meant restraint

• And desire was something to be endured, not explored

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🙏 The Early Code of the Simp

From day one, the messaging was clear:

“Guard your heart.”
“Don’t lust.”
“She’s a daughter of the King.”
“Be pure, and God will bless you.”

You weren’t taught to understand women.
You were taught to worship them at a distance.

You weren’t taught to lead.
You were taught to submit and wait for permission to be loved.

You weren’t taught to be a man.
You were taught to be a non-threatening emotional support animal with Bible verses.

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💔 Romance Was Taught Like a Fairy Tale

We were told to wait.
For The One.
And that when she came, the heavens would open,
and God’s plan would finally click into place.

No one told us about:

• Attachment theory

• Sexual compatibility

• Female libido cycles

• Emotional suppression

• Religious trauma pairing

• Hormone crashes

• Perimenopause betrayal spirals

• Or what to do when your wife stops looking at you

All we had was a pocket Bible, an engagement ring, and hope.

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👻 Then She Ghosted

Not literally at first.
She was still there—at church, at dinner, at bedtime.

But she had emotionally exited.
Long before she physically left.

And you? You just kept simping.
Believing this was a test of your devotion.
Believing God would honor your restraint.
Believing love wins if you suffer long enough.

Until the day she said the words:

“I don’t love you anymore.”

And you realized…
you were in a different story than she was.

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🧠 De-Simp Insight: The Setup Was Scripted

You were set up.

You were groomed—by an emotional obedience system masquerading as discipleship.
You were never equipped to date, lead, discern, or understand.
You were only taught to wait, worship, and suppress.

And when she walked away,
you didn’t just lose a wife.
You lost the entire belief system that held your heart together.

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🛐 Church of NORMAL Benediction:

To the men who were Awana boys…

To the ones who memorized verses but never learned how to say no…

To the quiet romantics who thought waiting = winning…

You are not alone.

Your love wasn’t wrong.
Your desire wasn’t dirty.
Your heart wasn’t weak.
You were programmed for obedience, not partnership.

But now, you are awake.
And the real discipleship begins.

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Stay tuned for Post 2:
“I Thought My Wedding Night Would Fix Me”
➡️ [Link placeholder]

Want to receive the full De-Simping the Saints™ series as a downloadable guide?
📥 Email me: Matt@flowerinsidertechnologies.com  
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