Worshipped Her Like the Lord, Got Left Like a Lease

🙇‍♂️ Worshipped Her Like the Lord, Got Left Like a Lease

“You are my everything.”

I meant it.
And if I’m being honest… I probably still would.

Because when I loved her, I didn’t just love her as a wife.
I loved her as a savior.
A symbol.
The reward for my obedience.
The living embodiment of my worth.

She didn’t ask for that weight.
But I gave it to her.
Because Evangelical romance taught me to.

🔥 The Idolization Protocol

In church, I was told to pursue her like Jacob.
Wait for her like Hosea.
Die for her like Christ.

And so I did.

I anticipated her needs before she spoke.
I withheld my frustration so she’d feel safe.
I ignored red flags in the name of “grace.”
I defended her even when she left me emotionally bankrupt.

I wasn’t loving her.
I was worshipping her.
And in doing so—I stopped being me.

🙃 When Love Becomes Servitude

You know you’re in idol territory when:

You apologize more than you speak your needs.
You walk on eggshells and call it “protecting her peace.”
You wait for emotional breadcrumbs and call it intimacy.
You spiritualize your abandonment.

“She’s just going through a season.”
“God is refining me.”
“I just need to be more patient.”

But what’s really happening is:
You’re on your knees…
in front of someone who stopped listening months ago.

💀 When the Idol Stops Noticing

Eventually, she doesn’t even respond.
You become background noise.
You text paragraphs.
She gives you a “K.”

You plead for truth.
She replies, “I don’t owe you anything.”

And suddenly you realize…

You weren’t in a covenant.
You were in a one-sided emotional religion where you tithed everything—
and she had already left the building.

📉 God Didn’t Tell Me to Worship Her

This is the part that stings:
I thought I was being Christlike.
But I was being codependent.

I turned my devotion into her leash.
I turned her silence into sacred mystery.
I mistook her rejection as God’s redemptive tension.

I thought I was doing holy work.
But I was just afraid to lose the only story I believed made me lovable.

🛐 Church of NORMAL Benediction:

Men—hear this.

If you build your identity on her approval,
you will fall when she walks.

If you surrender your voice to protect her emotions,
you will lose your mind trying to read her silence.

If you worship her like the Lord…
she will leave you like a lease.

Not because she’s evil.
But because no woman is designed to be your God.

Next up:
“The All-You-Can-Eat Buffet of Her… Was Closed”
📖 A man’s grief after sexless marriage and emotional starvation.

✝️ #ChurchOfNORMAL #DeSimpingTheSaints #WifeWorshipIsNotLove #WalkAwayWifePipeline #EvangelicalDeprogramming #RomanticObedienceDetox

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Pastor Matthew Stoltz

Lead Pastor of the Church of NORMAL | Waseca, MN

“To comfort the looped, confuse the proud, and make space for those who still hear God’s voice echoing through broken rituals.”
Matt is a CPTSD survivor, satirical theologian, and father of six who once tried to build a family without a permit and now walks out of the wreckage with sacred blueprints and a smoldering sense of humor. He writes from Wolf Den Zero, also known as Sanctuary 6, in the heart of Waseca, Minnesota.